Overcoming my personal value obstacle
When I began my self development journey, about 8 years ago, I discovered a whole new way of thinking and believing. I learned that it was OK if I went for a hour or two hour long run, it was OK if I didn't tuck my son into bed, it was OK if I bought a book for me! All of those items hold a high amount of value and priority in my life and still do, but when I choose to say YES to ME and my time, the guilt was removed and it was OK.
It was better than OK!
At the beginning it took time and patience adjusting to the choices I was making, without feeling that I was missing something or going to miss something. I honestly can't say that I read a specific book and it solved the guilt, I can't say that I watched a specific documentary and it solved it all. I can't even tell you WHEN I started making those decisions without feeling the guilt. It just happened over time.
I remember having conversations with my supportive husband about time management and value of time and how to carve out "me" time, as I was struggling with this. I was even to a point where I wouldn't cook a lunch, I would eat cereal because it was quick and I could go back to playing with my son or doing my "Mom duties".
When I opened up about my struggles it all came to a light, he valued everything I did in the home and with our son but why didn't I?
He would compliment me on the house being cleaned, my studying while our son napped and how dedicated I was making sure our son was having fun.
One day, I was invited to a run club and asked Shayne (not needing his permission, really just needing my own) and I went. It was one of the best choices to date I have ever made. I met with like minded men and women and came back on a runners high. My husband brought it to my attention, him and my son were OK, they survived and I could go again. This is where I started to really value my "me" time which in turn was also my running and friendship time. And we know what that leads towards, healthy mind and body- BOOM!
Once I week I would go and have some "me" time, this time gave me focus, clarity and created a more confident Kelsey. This was my first step in valuing myself and my time. From there, I went a little further and went back to work as a PT and worked evenings, trusting my husband to do bed time routine and such. As much as it broke my heart, sometimes, I valued my passion of fitness to share and inspire other women, I valued myself as a second income earner and I valued myself as a strong minded woman.
I see women every day that hold off on buying that shirt or hold off going for the run because of the guilt or not feeling valued.
When broken down, value, by definition it means:
: the amount of money that something is worth : the price or cost of something
: something that can be bought for a low or fair price
: usefulness or importance
The first two definitions are money related and money is not a bad thing, money is a flowing energy. It flows in and out, at times when we create negative energy towards money it may feel stressful and create obstacles in our lives. But money is a currency of flow. On the flip side of money, if you were to put a cost on going for a walk with a loved one, what would you pay? You might say $100, or priceless but you know it is WORTH more than just a t-shirt at the mall or $100, because you VALUE it!
The third definition is where I want to concentrate. In your day to day activities: career, home relationships, health, nutrition, and filling your cup up.
Do you feel you have done something useful or important, today?
I believe you have!
Important doesn't mean saving the world, important could mean cooking a healthy dinner for yourself or your family. I want you to recognize how you are a valuable part in each relationship you are in or within yourself. You bring a piece the puzzle that no one else can, and with that- YOU ARE VALUABLE!
Yes, the guilt still happens from time to time, but I have found when I feel valued, I feel more confident in my decision making skills. With that, I know I am making the best possible choice and no guilt is associated with it.
My wish for you is to feel valued because YOU ARE!
You are an amazing human "doing" with love to share.