Boundaries, Business and Balance
Setting boundaries when you are either a full time career mom or a stay at home mom, the thought of boundaries seems like "impossible thing to do" or the "selfish thing to do"
As I meet with more and more women entrepreneurs and career driven women, I have noticed more and more are Moms. I get so excited and passionate to witness this and witness their family being apart of their business and their children their motivation, as I can relate! This is all amazing yet, I have noticed these women have more and more guilt associated with their passion and their balance.
I see numerous women THINK of going back to work or starting their own business, yet they get scared and STOP DEAD in their tracks.
They get scared of:
- The sacrifices they will need to take
- The discomfort it will cause within themselves and their family environment
- And could they handle any MORE guilt?
Now, Is this because most of us already have the Mom guilt?
Or is it because we are already battling with the "should be" expectations of society on being the "Perfect Mom"?
Well, I have TWO newsflashes for you:
1. There is NO PERFECT MOM- that is for sure- BULL SHIT!
2. Make yourself happy! Don't worry about society and the "should be's"
When starting to follow your dreams never let the "should be's" come in the way. Yes, there are going to be times you may have to miss one or two practices or PAC meetings, ah well. While you may think the world is going to END if you don't attend, it won't! Life will go on, activities will happen, children will be OK and Guess What?..... YOUR DREAMS are in MOTION!
How awesome is THAT!
As you start your adventure of following your dreams of success, you may feel overwhelmed and your life may start to feel like an octopus with 8 arms in each different part of life.
Before any of this happens, you need to set boundaries and give them value. I'm not talking dollar amount I am talking about- how does it make you FEEL when you are able to disconnect and reconnect with your husband or play Lego with your children uninterrupted for a hour! There is no price tag on this value.
Setting boundaries in the BEGINNING is important!
Set them early or they will walk all of over you,
without you even noticing the muddy footprints on you.
True story, happened to me!
Back in 2014, my first year of somewhat entrepreneurship (another story another time), it was also my sons first year at BMX and he was going 3 nights a week. My situation at the time was teaching fitness classes in downtown Calgary twice a week and in Airdrie (our home town) four times a week, leaving no time to watch his BMX. It wasn't until his first provincial weekend (that was the only time I could attend) race that I got to witness what my sons passion was, I was seeing for the first time, his massive smile even when coming in last, and WOW did I get a HUGE eye opener on what I had been sacrificing. That season he raced twice a week, for approximately 3 months and I only had the opportunity to watch him 3 weekends (6 races in total), 6 out of over 30 races.
This was a HUGE EYE OPENER to me, yes I understood my business needed time and attention to launch, yet was it supposed to be this unbalanced?
I was then asking myself
- Why was I investing so much time, effort and energy into a city I didn't even live in?
- Why was I allowing it to take over my life and my family?
- And questioned-- is this what ALL entrepreneurs do?
For me this was a sacrifice that was unacceptable... so I thought maybe it wasn't my gig. Until I got focused and serious about boundaries.
Number 1- Balance needed to happen in all aspects of my life- no if, ands, or buts about that!
Number 2- My time, effort and energy needed to be focused and needed to stay within Airdrie.
Number 3- Find a way for BMX and fitness classes to be united.
Spring 2015 rolled around and I no longer had downtown Calgary classes and I asked my clients if rescheduling would discourage commitment. They said no, I then acted upon and rescheduled my home town fitness class times. This then allowed me to attend his racing's, while maintaining a full fitness class schedule. Filled with love and gratitude, I then knew what it was like to have a balanced business.
Now, there are still some nights I may miss, the difference is NOW I KNOW and I OWN that it is MY choice and it is MY decision to invest my time, effort and energy into my business on that particular night.
By setting the boundaries, it has created more freedom and more success within my balance.
I truly hope it can for you too.